


Tulip's Pupils

by Attorney_Anon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fun, Humor, Other, Prankster Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 21:04:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15348696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attorney_Anon/pseuds/Attorney_Anon





	Tulip's Pupils

“Being a prefect sure is a pain, god damn.” Thought Tulip, on her first day at the job.

For starters, it was somewhat simple: just guide the snotty little kids towards the great hall for the sorting ceremony and all that mumble jumbo. 

She knew how it was done, five years ago she was on that exact same spot, but instead of just being guided like a little guinea pig, she managed to make her very first prank at Hogwarts: with a single, no-heat firework (courtesy of Zonko’s, her favorite shop from the whole wide world) she managed to light not one, not two, but seven kids cloaks in less than five minutes! (She also got her very first detention, but as she would always say, it was worth it).

She really had no idea why she was made a prefect. Her friend, Ymous, her co-prefect at Ravenclaw, was a very upstanding and reasonable guy, it was only natural that he would gain that spot, especially after he solved so many things in these last few years here.

Even Merula being picked for that spot made more sense for her. After she started dating Ymous, she ended up becoming way more like that stupid moniker that she always spouted. “The greatest witch at Hogwarts my ass, really.” Thought Tulip, still somewhat jealous that she had Ymous all for herself now.

She really couldn’t help but sigh. “I really, really wish that something interesting would happen.” 

Just as she ended saying that, a wet “BOOM” sound was heard in the middle of the stair case, and a foul smell entered her nostrils, one that reminded her of some of her most delicious pranks. 

“A dungbomb!” she thought, as she rushed towards the place, a smirk of anticipation plastered on her face. As she approached, she saw what was, for her, a beautiful scene. 

Three girls, crying, covered in dragon dung, as two freckled young twins smirked smugly to one another, as all the other previously nervous first years laughed their assess off.

(Oh boy, im seeing some promise on these two!) 

But before she could talk to the boys, and enraged McGonagall appeared. “WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU ARE DOING?! On your first day nonetheless! You both, go talk with mister Filch and start cleaning this mess! Prefects, help me with these poor girls!” 

She then started to swish and flick her wand, wordlessly cleaning the three crying girls. “What a bummer” Tulip thought, before casting Tergeo.

\------------------------------------------

Tulip was once again bored out of her mind, sitting on her usual spot at the Ravenclaw table. Playing with her hair and slightly pouting, she barely registered the new students being sorted on their new houses.

That was, until she heard the final two names.

“Weasley, Fred!” McGonagall shouted, and Tulip quickly laughed when she saw the young boy tap-dancing his way to the small chair, much to the students delight (and McGonagall’s continuous furry).

The hat barely touched his red hair and it shouted “GRYFFINDOR!”, making the red clad table roar in happiness. “Bummer, but oh well, there’s the other one.”

As he tap-danced his way to the table (and with McGonagall almost exploding), the next brother was called. “Weasley, George!” and as his brother, he started doing a Cossack dance, and Tulip almost fell from the table from sheer laughter alone.

Once again, the sorting hat quickly screamed “GRYFFINDOR!”, and as the two brothers reunited, Tulip noticed a slightly devilish smile on their faces. “Oh boy, this gonna be good.”

“And this concluded the sorting ceremony. Now, a few words from the headm-” Before she could finish, a roaring firework almost hit her in the head, coming directly from the Gryffindor table. A few more followed, and as they exploded, the phrases “WEASLEY RULES!” “McGonagall’s stink!” and “HOGY-FART-WARTS” were written on top of the staff’s table.

As all the students laughed out of their minds, Tulip included, the voice of McGonagall echoed, almost screaming profanities at the two boys, a good two weeks of detentions being rightfully earned by them. Snape and the other professors sighed in disbelief, while the headmaster shared the heartfelt laugh with his pupils.

Tulip felt delighted, she had to take those two under her wing and teach them a thing or two.

\-------------------------------------------------

A few days later, Tulip was doing her usual rounds during night time, when she heard a clacking sound in one of the corridors. When she arrived there she caught a glimpse of a red shaded head quickly ducking behind a statue. She also noticed a single string stretched from the walls, an obvious trap. “Amateurs…” She thought.

“Huh, guess it was nothing.” She took a few steps, trying to show carelessness, but casted protégé under her breath. When the string snapped, the Weasley twins jumped from their hiding place, but just saw a smug Tulip, looking at them and their carefully hidden stink pellets on the floor, now used and useless.

Before they could run away, Tulip raised her wand. “Levicorpus!” With the boys dangling from their feet, she approached them, an even more devilish smile spreading from ear to ear.

“Hey hey, miss prefect! Sorry, really. We didn’t know it was you!” said one of the boys, Fred, she thought.

“Yeah, really! Cant you release us? We just got out of detention, we don’t want to deal with Filch again.”

“Oh really? Nah, im not sure. I mean, I AM a prefect, and im supposed to discipline students, especially ones that are roaming the halls past curfew, ya know?”

“Hey man, please! We’ll do anything you want!”

“Yeah, yeah! Please Miss prefect! If you want we can prank someone for you or something like that!”

“Great idea George! How about we prank McGonagall again for her then?”

“Seems good Fred!”

“Well, when ya’ll put it that way… Im kinda tempted. Alrighty then, I’ll let you guys go, on one condition.”

“Say it, boss!”

“We are all ears!”

“Ha, boss, that’s a good one. Because that’s exactly what I am now to you two. You both have potential, but are still amateurs, im gonna teach you both how to prank people properly!”

They both laughed. “You, teach us?” 

“Lady, we were born pranksters!”

“You both can get some unprepared folk and things like that, but sooner than later, you’ll be caught and your pranks wont work anymore. You guys need the help of a real pro, and I have a few good pranks on my belt.”

“Oh really? And who are you exactly, lady?”

“Yeah, hard to believe that a prefect of all people would know something about pranks.”

Tulip smiled even more delighted now. “Oh, my name’s Tulip. Tulip Karasu. I may be the Ravenclaw prefect now, but I was called the Prankster Queen for a reason, my young’uns.”

“Tulip Karasu? George, that’s the girl! The one that Charlie always mentioned!”

“Oh man, we are your fans! We were looking all around trying to find you, we never thought that you would be a prefect!”

“Ha, that’s great.” She softly released then from the spell (and by softly, she made them both fall, doing a sharp tud on the ground in the process. “Well, buckaroos. Do you both then agree to become my pupils, in the name of all that is wicked, fun and capable of pissing stinky teachers off?”

“Sir, yes Sir!” They both saluted and said in unison.

That was good for Tulip’s ego. She would mold these two boys into the best pranksters that she could, and leave an even bigger legacy of pranks in the halls of Hogwarts.

“Now, my boys, lets get to work.”

\---------------------------------------------------

A few months later, the stories of the twins mishaps already were common conversation topics among the students. Tulip’s training paid off, making the days filled with dragon dung, fireworks of all different kinds, explosions, crumbling walls, vanishing panties, everything that made Tulip laugh her ass off. And being friends with a prefect, the boys got away with almost everything. Almost.

One day, the three where sitting together under a tree, planning their next big prank.

“Boy oh boy!”

“This one gonna be huge!”

“It sure will.” Tulip smiled proudly. Through her connections, she managed to order a jumbo dungbomb, ready to use, and they planned to throw it at the black lake, just to make everyone’s life a little more miserable (especially for slytherin, since they took their water from the lake).

While the boys wrote a few more notes for the next big prank, Tulip heard a sound that she was all too familiar. “Goddammit!” she heard. It was her Clumsy friend, Olivia Gumshoe (usually simply called Clumsy) trying to get up on a tree for some reason (and failing miserably). Even if she was apparently the daughter of a muggle detective, that girl managed to hurt herself and others more often than anybody else, and be kinda dense all around. Aka, she was the perfect target for a good ol’ prank.

“Heeey, buckaroos. How about I test your acting skills?” Tulip drew her wand, her fingers almost twitching in anticipation.

“Ooooh, prank 28?” Asked George.

“Prank 28, my boys.”

“Whos the target, boss?” Asked now Fred.

“See that girl over there, by the tree?”

“Ayup, shes quite the dunce, aint she?”

“Nah, Freddy. Shes a nice girl, really. A nice girl who is a great target. Anyway, remember the 3 S’es for the 28! Its integral for this plan!”

“Slouching, Screaming and Seething!” They said in unison, taking their poses.

Now it was Tulip’s job. A little human transfiguration, and the two boys looked just like a couple of raging, running zombies, mad for brains. She took a moment to admire the good work, just thinking how perfect this would be (especially since Clumsy hated zombies with a passion since that movie night a few years ago).

“Now go! Make me proud my boys!”

“AAAAARGH!” The two screamed, running towards the poor, Clumsy girl.

“Eeeek!” As soon as she noticed, she dangled towards the tree, finally managing to get up on it, as the boys made their act, screaming furiously towards her. Tulip almost felt bad for the girl, she was sweet and all. Almost.

But as she laughed, preparing herself to step in and up the game (pretty much screaming that it was a zombie apocalypse, just to make Clumsy panic a little more) she noticed a single, black cat, falling from the tree that Clumsy was in.

“Oooooh, sh-” she started to ran towards them. It was obviously that that cat was madam Norris, and she better solve things quick before Filch arrived.

But the cat, the bloody freaking cat, jumped on Georges face, scratching and screaming. She arrived, trying to help them get away from the cat, with Clumsy still hugging the tree. But then, the worst possible person arrived.

Snape looked at Tulip with his usual coldness. “Hello, Miss Karasu. What is happening here?”

“N-nothing, professor!”

“Oh? Really? For me it looked like a few Gryffindor students were doing their best to lose a few house points, am I mistaken?”

“Oh, great, he’ll just deduct a few points” Tulip felt slightly relived, knowing Snape anything was possible.

“20 points from both of you, for a horrible display and usage of human transfiguration. 10 points from you, Miss Karasu, for being a sorry excuse of a prefect. And 10 points from you, Miss Gumshoe, for your incompetence in doing the things that I asked you to do.”

“B-but, professor! I managed to get Miss Norris from the tree, just like you asked!”

“I asked you to deliver my samples to Sprout, Miss Gumshoe. 10 points from making me waste my time by thinking that you wouldn’t screw up such a simple task.”

“O-oh….” Tulip genuinely felt bad for her now.

“Either way, stop this tomfoolery, and go do something useful with your day, you four.”

As Snape was taking his leave, Tulip couldn’t react fast enough, as she saw both Fred and George launching their dungbombs on Snape, hitting him square on the back.

“You two. Office. NOW.” 

“Freaking great, you both.” Thought Tulip, with a loud facepalm.

\--------------------------------------------

A few hours later, Tulip was eating her usual lunch (loads of Hugewiches ™) when a single owl arrived at her table. Opening the latter, she was pleasantly surprised to see that both the boys were fine, and that they wanted to talk with her right now.

Finishing her Hugewich™, she sprinted towards the chosen location, finding the two boys, their faces back to normal, holding what looked like a piece of parchment.

“Heya, mateys. Glad to see you’re both alright.”

“Sir yes sir! We managed to get out of Filchs clutches, sir!” They saluted as usual, prompting Tulip to giggle.

“And how did you both do that, my loyal soldiers of mayhem?”

“Dungbombs sir, proving to be useful as always, sir!” Fred said, pretending to throw another dungbomb towards Tulip.

“And we also found some loot, boss!” George gave her the parchment.

“Oh, what is this?”

“Hehe, you gonna love it, boss.”

“We tinkered a little bit with this thing, boss…”

“We actually found a letter explaining a few things with it.”

“Details, my dear George, details. Anyway, check this out, boss!” Fred picked his wand, and pointed it towards the parchment. 

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” The boy said, and Tulip looked, mesmerized, as a incredibly detailed map of Hogwarts revealed itself to her, which also pointed the exact location of every single person in the entire castle.

“Merlin’s socks, looks at this beauty! You guys found this at Filchs office?”

“Ayup, under ‘confiscated and highly dangerous’, right George?”

“Righto, probably the best loot we ever got, boss.”

“You both, do you realize what we have here? This, my friends, its our tool for dominance towards Hogwarts! With this, we can do literally any prank we want!”

\-------------------------------------------

The weeks went by, and with them, the months. With the help of the marauders map, Tulip, Fred and George literally drowned in all the most delicious pranks. From turning all the toilets in the castle into cauldrons (which, for some reason, really pissed Merula off), sipping explode-o-bombs into the prefects bathroom, finally making the black lake into a simmering mass of dragon dung, even sneaking into Hogsmeade during school ours, the fifth year and her young pupils had the time of their lifes.

As the year went to a close, she said her goodbyes to her to friends, promising them to write and plan more pranks for the upcoming year, more reinvigorate than ever towards her mayhem filled future.

On the boys second year, the pranks just escalated in proportion. Tulip, now on her sixth year, helped the boys start to create their own prank devices (as she discovered, their dream was to open their own prank dedicated shop, a dream that she wholeheartedly encouraged). She was always joyous to help the young boys, and they happily took in every witty suggestion that she had for them.

It felt like their golden days would last forever.

\------------------------------------------

But they obviously didn’t.

On her seventh year, Tulip had to take care of her N.E.W.Ts, leaving less time for her to spend on her pranks. The boys happily carried on anyway, making her as proud as she could be. Her seventh year was also especially intense, since the ever so famous Harry Potter started attending Hogwarts.

After an intense year of studying, with a few pranks sprinkled here and there, Tulip managed to do pretty damn well on her exams. And alas, the day of her graduation finally came.

After the ceremony (which was, as always, boring) she sat on the same usual tree that she sat so many times to plot the most delicious pranks with her cohorts. Soon after, the now third year boys appeared, sporting a sad frown in their usual faces.

“I guess this is it, eh?” Said Tulip, a sad smile forming on her face.

“Yeah….”

“We gonna miss you, boss. Really.”

“Freddy, Georgy, my buckaroos. Theres nothing that I can teach you both anymore. You both are bona fide pranksters now!”

“Yeah, but its gonna be really boring without you and the old gang, really.”

“Almost makes me wish that we could graduate with you.”

“Ha, I’ll miss you guys too. You both made my days here way more interesting.”

“Glad to hear that, boss.” Fred smiled genuinely.

“Yep, and what are you gonna do now, boss?” Asked George.

“Well, I don’t know, really. Probably gonna follow the family tradition, I guess. Got good enough N.E.W.T.s to try a career as a prosecutor in the Wizarding Law department, so I guess i’ll try that.”

“Oh, wow. From prankster to upstanding law enforcer eh?”

“If we didn’t know you, we would think that you were kidding, boss.”

“Heh, I know. But anyway.” Tulip got up, brushing the grass from her robe. “We gotta go now. We need to rest a bit, tomorrows the last day after all.”

“Yeah…” they said in unison.

“Hey!” She hugged the boys tenderly. She really had to hold back the tears now. “Its not like im going to disappear or anything! Now, wipe those frowns from your faces, by resting I mean we gotta drink to our hearts contents today! My treat!”

“Boss, seriously, If I didn’t value my own life, id kiss you right now.”

“Same, Fred, same.”

“In your dreams, buckaroos. Now, lets go to Hogsmeade!

\-----------------------------------------------------

“Good Merlin, that place’s big.”

That was all that Tulip could think, as she entered Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, her old pupils new store. As she looked around the merch, taking a special delight in the Demon dung, and the boxing telescope, a young, attractive clerk approached her.

“What can I do for you, Miss?”

“Oh, are the owners here? I need to talk to them.”

As she looked at Tulip, the clerk gulped a little. She was just out of her office, so she was still wearing her usual attire for her prosecutor work (her cravat, crimson coat and glasses) which made her have a slightly scary, official appearance.

Thinking that her bosses did something bad to get in trouble with a ministry’s office, she tried to make her leave. “O-oh, I think the bosses aren’t around today, if you want I c-can give a message to them.”

“Oh, bummer. Just say that Tulip Karasu came to visit them. Anyway, have a good day.” As Tulip prepared to leave, a loud, double cracking sound was made right in front of the store. The two owners, dressed in jackets made of genuine dragon skin, smiled brightly at the sight of their good old friend.

“Heya boss! Welcome to our humble store!”

“What do you want today? Want to make people crap all over? Want to hear everything with conveniently long ears?”

“Or maybe you want a beautiful, lovely, pygmy puff? Its just one galleon!”

“A true bargain!”

“Especially for our lovely, lovely boss.” They both said, as always in unison, doing an exaggerated bow towards her.

“Always the flatterers, you both. Its good to see you two again!” She hugged them warmly.

“Yeah, its been a while eh?”

“It sure had, brother.”

“Anyway boss, care for a tour? We got a lot of good prank material here for ya.”

“And im sure you’re dying to get some laughs after your boring ass job, eh?”

“Ha, its not really boring, but I sure do want some laughs.”

“Well them…”

“Lets have some fun, boss!”

Tulip then wandered around the store, taking pleasure in chatting and discovering the many uses of all the contraptions that her old pupils have made. She was never so proud as she was now.

\--------------------------------------------------

It was a sad day at Hogwarts.

Tulip, together with some old friends from her school days, arrived at the school on the previous night, to battle against the hordes of the dark lord, and protect one of the places that she truly cared about.

After the battle, and the miraculous victory of Harry Potter, the tired wizards rested. Except the ones that lost someone dear to them.  
On the upcoming day, Tulip looked as her old friend, her old pupil, carried the coffin were one of the last persons that she wanted to be there rested. As one of the many causalities from the battle, Fred Weasley died defending his family, friends, and the things that he loved.

She couldnt hold back her sobs, as she thought about all of the happy memories that she had from him and his brother. She truly cared about them, they were like her own siblings, and seeing one of them depart, so soon like that, made her heart ache, beyond what any word could describe.

As the funeral drew to a close, she sat at that very same tree that she sat so many years ago, which was miraculously intact after the incessant battle of yesterday. A few moments later, unsurprisingly, George appeared, and sat alongside her.

“Rough day, he buckarro?”

“Tell me about it.”

“Yeah… You know, I’ve been thinking.”

“Snif…About what?” 

“Remember that time we exploded all of the sixth years cauldrons?”

“Yeah…”

“McGonagall almost killed us, remember? ‘You lot are irresponsible at best, and dangerous to society as a whole at worst!’” Making her best McGonagall Impression, Tulip managed to make George giggle.

“Or that time we almost made a clone of the Whomping willow, right in the middle of the quidditch pitch!”

“Ha, yeah, that was a great one actually.”

“He, yeah…”

They both sat silently for a while, reminiscing about a better past. Finally, George broke the silence.

“You know, I’ll really miss Fred…”

“Me too, he was great.”

“He sure was…”

“Hey, George, I wanna let you know. Even if you lost your brother, you can always count on me, right?”

“Ha, I know boss. We are buddies, after all.”

“We sure are buckaroo, we sure are. What about a toast, then?”

“For what?”

“For being alive, of course. And for honoring your brothers memory.”

“He, good idea.”

And with a swish and a flick of her wand, she conjured a bottle of fire whisky, and two simple cups.

“To life and Fred.” George raised his cup.

“To life and Fred. May he prank the gods now.”

They both drank their whisky silently, taking comfort one another’s company, until their sorrows seemed a little less heavy on their hearts.


End file.
